I get so tired of hearing mothers talking about getting their old bodies, relationships or abdominal muscles back after giving birth. I think you all agree with me when I say we should stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. It’s a false promise: we’ll never get our body, life or relationship back to the way it was before childbirth. What we can do is try to take time for ourselves every now and then, to take care of ourselves.
This is what helped me create a new balance, a new life – and to get back what I had lost:
1. A meal plan
We always made a meal plan for my son, but strangely enough, I forgot myself. So now I plan my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. It’s important that I have dishes that I can easily prepare in advance, or that I can take with me and eat.
I’ve been doing pilates for 6 years, which I love! I even went during my pregnancy and right after the delivery (when the doctor let me do it again!). The studio where I work out also offers online workouts. This is ideal for me because it allows me to decide how hard I want to work out that day: on some days I go all the way and sometimes I just focus on movement and breathing.
3. Go outside
I like fresh air so much. If I’m cranky (or if my son is), there’s nothing better than a good walk through the neighborhood. The weather doesn’t always cooperate, but I usually have everything ready for the walk. So when I get the chance, I pack up my son and we go outside for a while.
I can easily immerse myself in my son, whether he eats enough, sleeps enough, etc. However, I found out that it helps to read a book or listen to a podcast or music. This way I don’t get completely fixated on my son, but my brain still remains stimulated.
5. Mummy friends
I found a handful of other mothers with children of the same age with whom I share my daily life. We share ideas, strategies and let our babies play together. Other friends seem less interested in my child’s nutrition or what I do to keep him entertained. That’s why it’s very nice to have a group of mothers around me who really understand what I’m going through and provide me with good ideas and feedback.
It’s so easy to neglect your relationship when you’re having a baby. Once the baby is in bed, I just want to read a book and then go to bed.
Unfortunately, an intimate relationship doesn’t work that way. That’s why I make sure I do what it takes to feel sexy. This is not easy, because ‘sexy’ is the last word I would describe myself with after giving birth. For this, I had to let go of my past. I will never get my old body back, but still be stronger and sexier than I ever was. I can create a new ‘me’ and embrace it!
I have the power to make my new life whatever I want. I can choose to go through life tired, sleazy and cranky, or I can choose to be a vibrant, loving, hot mommy! And if I do have to choose, I’ll go for the second option!