We grew up believing fairytales have happy endings. Growing older, unfortunately, we came to the realization some do not. We know we have to accept and, in some cases, expect that sometimes “the end” has a less than favorable outcome. Now, we search for ways to handle the disappointments in positive ways and perhaps see the silver lining.
Endings Come In Many Forms
Fairytale endings not only applies to romantically involved couples. It happens with anyone we love. It’s a part of life that delivers a crushing blow when it doesn’t happen positively. We also want fairytale endings for other people we know and don’t necessarily involve us. Even if it is at the end of a novel, tv show, the media, or a movie, it’s ingrained in most of our natures. And, of course, we all deal with it in different ways.
How We Choose To Deal With Disappointing Endings
How we handle a disappointing outcome says a lot about us and our character, whether it’s between ourselves and a romantic partner, a parent, a friend, a child, a pet, or an acquaintance. When we choose a negative way to cope, it most likely magnifies the bad. It ultimately becomes an obstacle that prevents us from loving again. Even when we decide not to deal with the situation, it can consume us.
Positive Ways To Get Over It
We’ve all had relationships that didn’t pan out and even ended badly. There wasn’t a happy ending, and it bothered us, perhaps longer than it should have. We look back on wasted time and wonder’ed how we could’ve spent it more constructively in making a happy ending of our own or working towards a happy fairytale ending with another.
Here are some tips to help take away positives from unhappy endings:
1. Don’t wallow indefinitely on the negatives.
It’s okay to give yourself time to be sad but set a limit. If we don’t start to let positivity back into our lives, it becomes easier to live with the negative. Human beings adapt to their surroundings, and that goes for our thoughts too.
2. Identify the mistakes and grow from them.
Learning from our mistakes helps us grow and improves our ability to cope with disappointing outcomes, but it means we have to admit we make mistakes. For many us, that’s a monumental feat of swallowing our pride. Leave one ending behind to start again takes realizing and accounting for the part we played when a relationship didn’t end happily.
3. Unapologetically pay a little extra attention to yourself.
When we’re in a relationship, we tend to forego our needs and wants for the other person’s. Spend some time doing what you love, either alone or with another. Pamper yourself by indulging in a spa day, gifting yourself some jewelry, or sending yourself a lavish bouquet.
4. It’s okay to compartmentalize your feelings.
Everyone deals with sad feelings after a relationship in their way. If you’re not ready to mull over despairing thoughts about how events unfolded in a past relationship, it’s okay to set them aside for now. You’d be able to handle them more effectively when you’re better equipped.
5. Don’t be afraid to try again for that “happily ever after.”
After a notoriously lousy ending to a relationship, we’re apprehensive about trying again and rightly so. We need to approach a new relationship like its a new beginning and a chance to put into effect all the lessons we learned.
You don’t get guarantees on love. There aren’t any promises that we will never experience the love that ends unhappily. It’s how we move on from an unhappily ever after and love again.