Relationships could become strained if couples often argue and don’t try to resolve their issues. Unfortunately, no set of instructions provides a quick fix for your love quarrels. However, you could try some actionable steps to lessen your spats until eventually, your relationship becomes smooth-sailing.
Here are some things you could try.
1. Picture Life Apart
One quick way to put things in perspective is to picture what life would be like without the other. Likely, you will quickly come to miss the hugs you receive in the middle of the night or the presence of a devoted caregiver whenever you are sick or not feeling well.
You must sometimes take a moment to remember the many great things you and your mate contribute to each other to better put the petty fights you have in perspective.
2. Talk Before You are Angry
Many people will only mention the things that bother them once there temper has already gotten the best of them. When this happens, your intial reaction would be an angry outburt, which wouldn’t the situation at all.
You and your partner should deal with each situation calmly and respectfully. You can avoid many arguments by calmly discussing a problem until both parties are clear on each other’s feelings.
3. No Threats to Your Relationship
When you react as if every disagreement is the potential end to your relationship, your behavior will eventually instigate flight mode in your significant other. Constantly telling someone you could leave them anytime builds resentment and anxiety in their heart, causing them to lose faith in your relationship.
And if your partner does not leave, the devastation from the threat of losing you may send them into a depression. This could make them incapable of providing you with the companionship and pleasure you need.
4. Develop a Process
Each of you should develop your own procedure for dealing with disagreements constructively. One suggestion is for both you and your partner to spend a few minutes or hours apart as you process your thoughts and emotions.
Once you’ve cooled down and have better control of your emotions, you could take the time to discuss the issue together. At this point, you can share your ideas for fixing the problem that is plaguing your relationship.
This is only an example of a process that may work, but you and your partner should develop one that is specific to you and your relationship. Also, understand that you shouldn’t pressure each other to resolve the issue on the same day. Some problems simply take more time to sort things through.
5. No Abuse Policy
You and your partner should agree that there is no room for abuse in your relationship no matter how heated things get between you. This includes name-calling and all other forms of verbal abuse, physical attacks, or breaking things.
If you or your partner feels a level of anger that may lead to any of these actions, take a walk for a minute. Get it out of your system. Once things calm down, you can return and work to resolve the problem.
Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. And sometimes, these disagreements may result in an argument. However, arguing will not become the go-to method of conflict resolution in a healthy relationship.
If you and your partner begin to argue more than is normal for you, it is best to address this issue sooner rather than later.